/ May 17, 2017

Umut Dursun

Name: Barbara Chotiner
Rating: 5
Author: Barbara Chotiner

Umut Dursun, former US Marine Sergeant and MDCPS school teacher with Teach for America, shares about his journey to find his authentic male self. Umut also speaks about the challenges of dealing with family members and colleagues who don’t understand gender transitioning, including the years when he had yet to understand it for himself.

When I come to YES Institute, I get the rare opportunity to think, investigate and come up with ideas that will actually make a difference.
Barbara Chotiner MDCPS Teacher

I thought I had to let my family go forever. Now I have hope.” – High school student
COMMUNICATION SOLUTIONS™ PARTICIPANT

I never considered that I can be a lifeline for students who don’t feel accepted. I will make sure I don’t impose my beliefs of how girls and boys ‘should’ act.
Middle school teacher

Completely changed my perspective and made me aware of derogatory terms I may be using unintentionally.
Teacher, Palmer Trinity School

Changed my life! I feel like—for the first time—I’m seeing people for who they are. This will help save some important relationships.
Social Worker

I learned that just because you are a girl does not mean you can’t do what boys can do.
4th Grade Student

The bullying course empowers me to be a better teacher, and to help my students with real world situations.
Miami-Dade County Public School employee

I learned so much today. I’ll admit I felt uncomfortable with transgender people before, and now I feel inspired to be the support system for ALL my students.
Teach For America corps member

Gay and trans youth have come to our doors because they had nowhere else to go. We clearly see the need for education.
Participant in dialogue at Temple Judea

I learned new skills to be able to talk to parents when their little girl wants to play with trucks and LEGO toys instead of dolls and the kitchen set.
Early Childhood Teacher

I always just assume my friends are okay, but checking in with them might actually save a life.
Young person that attended our trainings with The Childrens Trust - Youth Advisory Council

Not everything has to be a battle. Instead of being in a toxic cycle, I can use the new model of communication to speak with others.
Ross, high school student

Motivates me to engage more with my son’s school on gender and orientation issues. Bullying is prevalent.
Museum staff member

I learned that being yourself is not a problem and that everyone likes different things.
Nova Southeastern University Middle School Student

Before today, I felt all alone. Thank you for providing us with tools to address ‘antigay’ slurs and helping us to become better people!
High school student, Archimedean Academy

The difference was hearing directly from a person about their struggles, not just reading about it.
Participant in the Judges College, Naples, FL.

I learned that people are bullied and targeted based on their gender expression. Not their orientation. I've never thought of that before.
A.D. Henderson High School Student

This course changed the whole way I think about bullying. I’m excited to make some changes in how I speak to students and parents.
Miami-Dade County Public School employee

After taking the course, A Communication Called "Bullying" I plan to begin addressing these topics in our school and community with the various stakeholders including, but not limited to teachers, administrators, support personnel, parents, community leaders and students.
Avis Feldman, Miami-Dade County School Teacher

The educational work of YES Institute is unparalleled to any other organization I know, locally or nationally. I feel lucky that our students have this precious opportunity of open dialogue and learning on the topics of gender and orientation.
University of Miami, Women & Gender Studies Professor

It’s important for my students to stop and examine the impact of gender and orientation. It’s easy to forget about the real world from the comforts of the classroom.
Miami-Dade College Professor

I’ve never seen an approach like this to these topics. Now I can support staff so they can help these youth develop their voices.
Participant at the University of Maryland, Baltimore - National Training Institutes

I have been shut down by my colleagues on even starting conversations about gay youth. This is the way to make true change and keep all young people safe.
Participant at the University of Maryland, Baltimore - National Training Institutes

Now I will be more caring and actually listen to people who have different beliefs.
Early Childhood - "Playing with Gender" participant

Working with YES Institute has allowed us to enhance the quality of services we provide to all members of our community. Through educational sessions, staff has gained valuable knowledge and skills. We look forward to further collaboration.
Carmen Cantero, Quality Improvement & Compliance Officer, Citrus Health Network

We never talk about this stuff at my school. Now I will try to not go along with anti-gay slurs because I see they can really hurt people.
Young person that attended our trainings with The Childrens Trust - Youth Advisory Council

YES Institute has an incredible way of engaging our young Youth Advisory Council members, giving them space to speak freely, ask questions, and develop compassion to understand the people around them. The kids now know proper channels of communicating with others who have different views.
Danielle Barreras, Community Engagement Liaison, The Children’s Trust

I’m not out to my parents. I think they would kick me out because they’ve voiced that it is not okay. School is my only safe place.
Hialeah High School student

I see the urgency of being proactive. Students may be struggling in silence, and they cannot concentrate on school if they don’t feel safe.”  
–Miami-Dade Middle School teacher

I am relieved! Now I feel capable of handling a conversation with a child or parent about gender expectations and bullying.
Early Childhood - "Playing with Gender" participant

We are coming out of this conversation with concrete actions to expand understanding and increase capacity of judges, lawyers, and litigants. Fantastic!
Participant in the Judges College, Naples, FL

The material made me look at these topics in a new way. It opened my eyes to how gender and orientation show up in medicine. Before today, it was invisible to me.
Medical student Phi Delta Epsilon Medical Fraternity

Opened my heart in a way I didn’t think possible. Now I can initiate a conversation with my mom, even though I’m afraid.
College Student

One of the things I learned was how early in a child’s development is the realization of who they are and how crucial my support is for them to be their authentic self.
Licensed Clinical Social Worker

I haven’t told my father that I’m gay because I’m afraid of his reaction, but now I see that we don’t have to agree for us to live in harmony.
High School Student

Exceeded my expectations! It got me looking at the language I use so I can avoid setting harmful stereotypes for youth.
Early Learning Coalition Miami-Dade/Monroe training participant

Before today I only saw two solutions to arguments: either we agree, or I ‘prove my point.’ Now I can open space for real conversations and relationships.
Amanda, teacher

Before today I felt only confusion or frustration towards gay and transgender people. Now I feel compassion.
Human Resources Manager, University of Miami

YES Institute has saved my family. It's because of YES Institute that we now have the ability to really listen to each other, inspire healing, seek education, and build a safe and comfortable home.
Jenny Betancourt Graduate Student

Gender is so much more than anatomy. Now I am empowered to listen to our patients and ask questions if I am not sure what the answer is.
University of Miami, Physical Therapy Undergraduate Student

Every time I take this course I learn something new. This course helped me reflect on my personal life and how I can better the communication within my own family.
Marti Stein, Communication Solutions™ participant

Students cannot be simply labeled as ‘bully’ or ‘victim.’ Both things can be true for the same person.
Miami-Dade County Public School employee

Taking Communications Solutions™ provided me with an entirely new approach to conflict resolution. It taught me not to collapse “having a voice” with combative aggression. I have faith that my internship with YES Institute will provide me with the opportunities to live and communicate authentically.
Fall 2018 high school Intern

A god-send! Now I understand that arguing is not a solution to any problem.” – Teacher
COMMUNICATION SOLUTIONS™ PARTICIPANT

Very applicable to my practice—up-to-date research, policies, and language that will allow me to better serve my patients. –Clinical therapist

I am so grateful to learn a more productive way to communicate with my child so she feels heard and grounded in our relationship.” – Mom of 7-year-old child
Communication Solutions™ participant

I was worried, and it tested my relationship with God, but I know that she’s still my daughter—the same person she’s always been—and I’m very proud of her.
Efrain Sora, Father of Roxy-Cary Sora

I am accepting, but I need to learn more. Today I learned that it’s okay to ask questions when I don’t know.
Participant in dialogue at Temple Judea

Powerful- great insight into the impact of language and my responsibility in perpetuating ‘bullying’ culture.
Debbie Rodriguez

I’ve had these conversations before, but they’ve always been politicized, which made me feel attacked. Thank you for opening my eyes to the importance of providing the best care for everyone!
Phi Delta Epsilon Medical Fraternity International Convention

After the YES Institute dialogue, I now feel more knowledgeable to support my clients and families.
Staff, Center for Autism & Related Disabilities

In 30 years of teaching, I’ve never had any training around these topics, and it’s so relevant to what we see in our classrooms.
Early Childhood Teacher

I was always ready to jump down my dad’s throat because he is homophobic. I now see that he is probably worried about me, and I don’t need to change his mind for us to live in harmony.
17-year-old

Loved it! I will take these tools back to my agency and the schools where we work. I see how we can take action even though we may disagree.
Participant at the University of Maryland, Baltimore - National Training Institutes

People bully my brother because he cries sometimes. I even bully him. I learned how bullying can really change someone’s life.
Nova Southeastern University Middle School Student

After taking the bullying course, I see that simply punishing students is not enough. Assigning blame is really about me, not them.
Miami-Dade County Public School employee

In 30 years of teaching, I’ve never had any training around these topics, and it’s so relevant to what we see in our classrooms.
Early Learning Coalition of Miami-Dade/Monroe Training participant

I see the urgency of being proactive in creating safe environments. Students may be struggling in silence, and they cannot concentrate on school if they don't feel safe.
Middle school teacher

Our employees expect us to provide an open culture where diversity of people and opinions is valued. YES Institute's training has paved the way for leadership in this area.
Hal Marshall, Sapient Razorfish People Strategy Team

Authenticity brings freedom. This course allowed me to be myself and open up more. It made me realize that I am valuable.
Michael, high school student

I’ve been wanting to come out to my parents. This conversation makes me feel like I’m not alone.
Young person that attended our trainings with The Childrens Trust - Youth Advisory Council

Now I see how being confrontational actually prevents me from making any positive difference.
Parent

I learned that bullying can be a form of communication. I learned how youth might be copying what they see from their parents, and other adults. I learned that we can all make a contribution to stop it.
A Communication Called "Bullying" course participant

It doesn’t matter if you’re a boy or a girl, what matters is what’s on the inside. –5-year-old

I got called ‘faggot’ at seven years old. Some people still call me that. Making fun of someone for who they are or who they like is not okay.
Nova Southeastern University Middle School Student

I am a boy who likes theater and I am assumed to be gay just because of that. Sometimes it really bothers me.
Nova Southeastern University Middle School Student

I haven't stepped up to this conversation because I don't want to be portrayed as an activist judge. I see now, I am being an activist judge by denying these rights.
- Participant from the Judicial College, Naples, FL.

Strongly impacted me. I don’t always have to understand, but I can choose words and actions that respect and include everyone.
Early Childhood - "Playing with Gender" participant

I am tired of tripping over my words with gay and transgender patients. Now I feel much more capable to relate to all my patients with respect.
Physician, Citrus Health Network

This opened my eyes to all the things I do to feel like a ‘real man.’ Maybe now I can be myself more.
Young person that attended our trainings with The Childrens Trust - Youth Advisory Council

This is an organization with a track record of making a real difference in the world. Political victories mean little if the hearts and minds of parents, clergy, and teachers do not change.
Jonathan Lewis Member of YES Institute's Kiaora Society of Donors

I got called 'faggot' at 7 years old. Some people still call me that. Making fun of someone for who they are or who they like is not okay. –Broward Middle School student

I learned new skills to be able to talk to parents when their little girl wants to play with trucks and LEGO toys instead of dolls and the kitchen set.
Early Learning Coalition of Miami-Dade/Monroe Training participant

This dialogue redefined my definition of feminity and masculinity and made me feel more secure about being more of a tomboy.
16 Year Old High School Student

Before this course, I could not bear to talk about my family out of fear of what people might think. I felt as if I was losing my child. Now I am able to hear my 15-year-old and truly be proud of my transgender son.
Parent of transgender son

By far the most candid conversation I have ever had on these topics. The information was authentic and anecdotal, which highlighted easy things I can do to make it safe for my patients.
Phi Delta Epsilon Medical Fraternity International Convention

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